I am not afraid of you

 Closing the distance between you and me,

Bewildered by the act of my unplanned bravery.

One thing I know for sure to be true.

You scare me more than anyone, but I am not afraid of you.

The air is cold and I can barely breath,

But somehow I manage to form words to speak.

Your eyes draw me in, soft and blue,

You scare me more than anyone, but I am not afraid of you.

I want to run away from your charm,

I want to hide away in your arms,

I want to memorize every moment until you're out of view,

You scare me more than anyone, but I am not afraid of you.

Courageously I rescue my heart before it's too late.

There's something about you, but I'm going to choose to wait. 

The compass of my feelings never guided me to towards truth.

You scare me more than anyone, but I am not afraid of you. 

I take a step back making a gap between you and me,
Time will only tell, whatever the outcome may be,

One thing I can promise, no matter what we may go through.

I'm not afraid of anything- not even afraid to be scared of you.

A mountain.

There's a mountain growing,

beyond my knowing,

There's a mountain growing,

in my heart.

A mountain called love,

summit peaks

 the sky above.

but I'm too little to climb it,

too afraid to cast it into the sea,

for fear that I won't find it.

There's a mountain growing,
deep down in the organs of my being,
my soul, my spirit.
My every kind of interior art,
this mountain is bursting right out of my heart.

Reaching altitudes of fierce weather,
too high for my lungs alone, but together?
Perhaps with a friend,
We could journey the ascent.
Perhaps with a friend,
This mountain wouldn't seem so high.

So when it's time to climb,

Please give me the sign,

and we'll tackle this mountain together.

Love:
encompassing planet and stars,
elegant forms of beautiful art,
love: 

oh, what a great mountain you are.
Please, oh dear, mountain of love,
 don't break my heart.

In love with the idea of being in love

I'm in love! 

Well, I'm in love with the idea of being in love.

I've been searching, seeking, pinning for 'the one'.
I've been swiping left and right, playing guessing games of eenie, minee, mo.

Is he the one? No. Is he the one? Not even close.

Where is my Boaz? Where's my king David? 

He's not perfect, he sometimes cusses, I didn't like the pattern of his breathing,

Oh please, If Jesus himself asked me out even I wouldn't date him. 

I like bad boys, 

you know the ones.

With eyes on me,
this purified virgin
one in a million.
They smile and say
hey
let's go on a date.
Hoping I'll say yes
they seek me out as their goddess.
Their idol of worship
to occupy their emptiness.

But I don't need them or their compliments or kisses or hugs.

The truth is I'm already in love with the idea of being in love.

To my future husband, I'd write letters

dreaming of him and I together.

Thinking I could pray him to me

believing I could jinks God's timing.

In my heart I was building

creating an idol of my own

made from pure ego

and the idea of being in love.

My idol began to build and build

higher and higher

along with my foolish love desire.

This idol i've created
in all my dating waiting
crowned me miss pageant purity
praying for my sparkly wedding ring
spitefully demanding that God owed me.

"I'll read my bible
I won't party
I'll be the first abstinent barbie
locked in a box
kept fresh and untouched.
Just one thing that I want in return"
this one thing I kept trying to earn.
"I'll wait
I won't date
But God you must promise to give me my soul mate,
prince charming, riding on a white horse, armor shining."
What was I thinking?
That my perfect record could earn me blessings?

But I don't really need a future husband at this point.

The truth is I'm too in love with the idea of being in love.

And as I continued down this spiral staircase of desire,
My heart began to weaken
and my seeking, searching, pinning for 'the one',
began to deceive me.
I had built a golden calf I called 'purity'
that was beginning to defile my inner being.

Even this can't complete me.
Even this can't fulfill me.
Even this idea of being in love will never truly satisfy my every dream.

What I really need goes beyond my desire to find romance and 'the one',
God, I must be more in love with you than the idea of being in love.

And with that declared the golden idol began to melt
Along with every fear of relationships I've ever felt.

Oh God, I'm more in love with you than the idea of being in love.

I surrender every idea of a man that I've ever dreamed up.

I give you my foolish hopes and imaginations.

My 

white picket fence,

My

Tall, dark, handsome and french,

My 

picture perfect man.

But even when that one has found me,

Even when I'm old and married

That doesn't change a thing

Thats not the purpose of the ring.

Darling, don't get me wrong, our love will be grand

but, there's just got to be more than walking hand in hand.

A greater purpose

for 

His glory

for 

His perfecting

Beyond our love for each other 

to be more in love with him than any other.

Oh, God, I'm more in love with you than the idea of being in love.

How wonderful you trust me,

enough to entrust me

with earthly relationships

with someone to share YOUR love with.

You trust me

not to make him an idol

You trust me 

not to act like a child.

Oh, God, oh how I'm so in love with you,

I'll keep seeking, searching, pinning for more of you.

You complete me.

You fill me up.

Oh, God, I'm more in love with you than the idea of being in love.

Incongruent heart

Heart, why do you give yourself away without a hand to take it?

Heart, why can you not seem to comprehend love is more than what you make it?

Heart, you're friendlier than me.

Heart, tell me your secrets, tell me how you love so easily.

You. Yes, eyes reading,

speeding,

feeding upon my thoughts and feelings.

My heart says hello and wants to have coffee.

This is a weird poem.

Nothing even rhymes with poem.

Let's get deep.

Heart, read em and weep. 

Wait for a hand to sweep me off my feet..

I am your pearl

I want to be distinguished,

 Something unique.

I want to be a treasure,

A novelty. 

I want to change the world. 
I want to be discovered by an explorer  

in search of a beautiful pearl,
 a rare thing, a priceless jewel. 

I want to be that pearl. 

Search well with eyes open,
World changer, when you find me,
Buy the field that I'm buried in,
We'll build a house and get married,

I'll change the world with you

The only girl for you
I'm a fool for you.

I am your pearl.

Let me tell you.

let me tell you about you,

not what you are or what you do.

i'm going to tell you about the who in you,

believe me or not, you know it's true.

close your eyes,

listen awhile,

let me tell you about you

you're a masterpiece, a work of art,

you're a giant of faith with a marshmallow heart.

are you listening, can you see it too?

let me tell you more about you.

you see, i can see, not just who you are, but who you're meant to be.
you were made for amazing things.
you were made for me.
but more so, you were made for all the world to see.
let me tell you more about who you're meant to be.


you're meant to be a risk taker,
you're meant to be a peace maker,
you're meant to be a world changer,
you're meant to be fearless when you're most afraid.
you're meant to yell at the top of your lungs, declaring your heart out in boldness and love.
you're meant to love.
you're meant to be loved by me,
the one who can tell you who you're meant to be.


let me tell you one more thing,
you are brilliant.
you are smart.
you're resilient.
you're going to make it and be,
your purposed creation and destiny.


let me tell you about you,
you're not what you are or what you do.
you're who you're meant to be.
be it, lead the world, set them free.

Liking you.

I LOVE everyone...but I'm so in like with you. I so like you, i really do.
I love you more because i like you, and i like the way i like you and the way you love me too.

Love is easy to do and it is easy to say.
I don't know if you like me, but either way,
I like you and don't ever want you to change.

Liking you makes me laugh and write poetry-
Makes me want to dance and sing you to me.
It doesn't change anything cause i'm not silly.
And it's free to go away if it's not meant to be.



I haven't said a thing,
Even though you could be mine,
My liking is quiet and discreet.
It's thoughtful and smiley,
It's simple and sweet.

There's so many reason, I could go on forever.
I'm just liking what I hear, what I see, what I love about you, you, you-
The one i like to like.

So don't worry about it,
It will happen,
However,
Whenever,
With whomever-
All I know is- friend to friend- i really like you.

To Be Known

To be loved is to be known and to be known is to be loved. 

I don't know you, but i would like to get to. 

We could converse about things that have meaning,

We could declare something wild if our hearts could start singing.

We could secure our place in the heavens and rejoice in our youth

And take charge of this planet in what is ours and the truth.

I could tell you about star's and you could tell me about heaven,

I would listen with all my heart and get to know you more intensely. 

I don't know you, but I would like to get to.

Because, to be loved is to be known and to be known is to be loved.

Within our union we could take on the world and start a revolution.

I would like to be known by you. 

In your truth. 

Know me.

And I will know you.

You were made for amazing things.

And I was made for the same.

We were made to be known to our core,

and in our knowing we were made to be loved by Him.

This could be great. 

I know it. 

I will wait.

I will be patient.

I will love and know you more.

love you,

I will be known to my core.

love is not a feeling

Love is not A FEELING. Instead, what I feel by my act of love is the affect of my love, or in some cases the result of being loved. But love should never be confused with an emotion, sensation or enjoyment. 

It is not the softness or simplicity of the object of affection that always compels us to give, but in fact the unyielding, undeserving, stubborn one that challenges us to choose to love. 

Love is often laborious and tiresome. It is by patient endurance that we are able to come into complete awareness of the selfless, painful, sacrificial and marvelous dimensions of this consuming love. Once we have been acquainted in this manner we become conscious of the outcome of our love; the ways in which we provoke goodness out of another by the means of our unwavering persistence. She may be rough, resistant and uncouth, but you will love her and love her, tell her she is gentle and sweet and love her more and more, challenge her prudish heart and untwine the complications of her reluctance; this is the ultimate function of love. 

If we are to love only those who reflect our love back and feed our greedy hearts on a feeling we are but a waste.

Love is NOT a feeling.